Love?...

"I wish you loved me"

"I wish somebody loved me..."

I don't really know what to feel right now... It's like I'm forcing to love someone, even if i do know that i don't love anyone in particular right now...
I guess this is just normal when every close friend you have is actually having 'that someone'...

I don't want anyone in particular right now... but somehow I'm looking for 'that someone'...I know that i won't find him no matter how hard i try, coz i know it isn't my time to have one yet...But somehow i just can't control this longing i have... and because of this, I'm being selfish...Selfish in a way that i am pretending to love someone by expressing this so called 'love'...Selfish in a way that 'that someone' might actually accept my love...my fake love...

I don't want that...

Good thing that the person whom i pretended to love wasn't attracted to me in any way.I feel horrible doing such thing... now i can really see that a woman's greatest betrayer is her heart..I don't want to pretend for the sake of filling up this longingness, triggered by jealousy of not having 'that someone'...It's time to grow up, time to control my feelings and not let it control me...It's time to see the word 'love' in a different perspective, a perspective into which i can respect it...

Love isn't all about fun and games...

I know what i did wasn't right, i know what i decided to do wasn't right...But dwelling on what i did wrong in the past, won't change what's a head of me...I must accept that what i did was wrong, and aim to do what's right next..Love isn't something that i should play with, it is something into which i should be serious & careful of..Love has a huge responsibility attached to it, & unless i can't carry that, i cannot love..

It's time to grow up...

It isn't my time, and i must accept that... Love doesn't only exist between lovers, they also exist within friends...The love that i have now is existing within my circle of friends, and that is where i have to focus on..I must let go of my selfish desires... i don't really need 'that someone' right now...Coz i already have God in me... this longingness I've been feeling is just a selfish thing...

God is in me, He stays with me, He gives me joy & fulfillment...what more could i simply ask? :)

"Someone did and is still loving me..."

I won't have & won't look for my special someone right now... coz i decided to grow up and wait...:)