Everywhere temptation is following you and embracing you with its sweet lies. Yes, temptation can be fought, but with this amount of temptation? It's tough to survive with only your mind. Oh by the way, your thoughts can also be a threat.
When I stepped out of the teen life, i was seriously afraid of the next stage of life. I wonder most of the time, "How can I survive the filth this world is giving?" Every temptation is everywhere, gluttony, sloth, pride. envy, anger and the biggest one of all, lust. How in the world am I to keep my heart pure if its everywhere?? You see it on TV, on the billboards, on the advertisements, toys, food, etc. it's everywhere I tell you, and the sad thing about it is, most people don't even recognize it and they are engulfed right into it.
So many young women I've seen who are pregnant and studying at the same time. They see those marriage surprises as toys and games. The gifts of marriage is losing it's importance and essence, it brings deep sorrow in my heart; they were supposed to enjoy their teen life as women, and now, they end up taking care of a child alone with the pressure of college. It's sad. And I'm not here to talk about that.
My point is, as the Bible says, the world is becoming more evil. You try to stop evil by your own will and your own intelligence or gut feeling, next thing you know you're ensnared in the evil's trap. You tried, you failed, it seems like hope has abandoned you. You have the heart to stop it, you really do, you want to pursue goodness and purity, but when you face your temptation, it's as if you lost all the wisdom and the will that you've got. So how exactly do we stop this? How exactly can we get out of this vicious cycle we're in? How?
The answer is. You can't. We can't. In our own will and intelligence and passion? No. We can't stop it. It's too huge. The world is too dark for it's own good for us to erase it. We're drowning in the sea of evil and we cannot save ourselves. So... when we can't save ourselves. . what happens? Yes. . Someone else saves us. :)
There is hope.
Love your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. Am I sounding too religious? I'm sorry but you're wrong. I'm saying this because of my love for my God. It's not about the religion, it's about the relationship. What better way to stop something vicious, with stopping it for someone you love? Humans will always be humans. You stop something for another human being, next thing you know, you're both in the vicious cycle! But with God. . God is perfect. You stop something vicious for Him, He will help you and He will never fail you. :)
I've been in a vicious cycle myself. Just like you, i hide it. But you know, even when I'm hiding it in my heart? God sees my heart when no other human being can. I tried to stop this vicious cycle i was in because of fear. I was scared of discrimination, of rejection, of disapproval, or mistrust, of judgement. I was scared. I even feared that God would abandon me. . . But i was wrong. . He never left me. Yeah cheesy, but I'm dead serious. He never left me.
I don't know how to stop my vicious cycle anymore. Until to the point that i wanted to give up on myself. But God didn't.
I prayed to Him every single day. Asking for His forgiveness. Honestly, i felt like He doesn't hear me; but i never stopped praying. My vicious cycle kept going, even when i was praying; Until yesterday. . .I was pondering about what can be done, because Im tired of this, then suddenly, it just sprung up in my head. "Shiriel, you love God don't you?" that changed a lot in my heart.
Yes I love God. I really really do, and so does He. . He loved me first and His love is unconditional. I've been in love with a human being, and i know how it feels to do everything that you can to make that person you love happy. I know how it feels when you hurt him, i know how it feels when you stop the things that you do that hurt him because you love him. That's it, that's the answer.
For me to get out of this vicious cycle I am in and you are in? Is to love God. . to be in love with Him. God is a Holy God. No one can stand in His presence when you have sin in your heart, and that is why there is Jesus, there is forgiveness and that is how we can stand in His presence. So the next time that vicious cycle starts again? Think about God, ask yourself, "Will this make Him happy or not? I know forgiveness is there. . but because I love Him, I don't want to hurt Him."
Be in love with God and you'll definitely survive the evil and filth of this world. Add to that, you'll be one of those little lights that would show hope. <3
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