The Red Rose

A rose that made a commotion.

It was my birthday and my best friend, a male, decided to give me a red rose on my special day. :) It made me really happy deep inside, because I know that flowers have a special connection to a lady's being.

Hanging out with my best friend on my birthday was a fun thing to do, just relaxing, chilling out. :) As we entered the mall, i saw a number of my friends because of an on going event. I was with my best friend and i was holding a red rose in my hand. As soon as everyone saw me, they looked directly to the rose and then to my best friend.

A girl, a boy & a rose.

"SHI SHI HAS A BOY FRIEND!" that's the thing that came out of their mouths. One said it, the other heard it and everyone started teasing me and my best friend. I tried to make them understand that he's not my boyfriend but rather my best friend. Of course nobody believed me. The red rose was a sure evidence for them.

It made me think a lot when left. How a single rose could create such a huge commotion and how people could be so close minded. I don't understand why people would give so much meaning to a kindness a person could show. I mean, i would understand them if i had a rose in my hand in a random day, but come on, it was my birthday! My best friend was being a best friend. He gave me what would make me happy and not what would make me fall in love with him. The bottom line here is, my best friend gave me a gift, a red rose. Is a red rose labeled to be for lovers only? Wasn't roses made by God, to be given to every single one of us? Just because I don't have a boy friend or a suitor, does it mean i can't have a red rose?

Roses are made by God, to bring warmth in people's heart. Be it red, white, blue or pink.

My best friend actually wanted to give me a white rose, because he knows how much I want one and giving it on my birthday will make it special :). But apparently, white roses was unavailable. So he gave me a red one instead. Some people just can't understand what pure intentions mean anymore. But boy am i glad that i have a sweet best friend who has great fear in God.

Just because I am with a man, doesn't mean something is going on between us. That's the culture's sickness, couple pairing. There are so many boy-girl friendships that are broken, just because other people interfere by arousing unnecessary feelings because of their mere "friendly" teasing. They'll say "Hey if they're not really in love with each other, teasing them won't affect them!" OH COME ON! human beings WILL ALWAYS be human beings! They'll ALWAYS have feelings and emotions.

Peer pressure will ALWAYS be peer pressure.

Hey i don't have anything against teasing; but i think everyone should know it's boundaries. If a girl and boy says that nothing is between them, teasing must stop, or they'll mess up their friendship. If there is courtship going in between them, then go on.

Boy-girl friendships that stays strong despite the teasing are rare to find. If ever they be find, they're emotionally strong. Sad to say not everyone is like that. I just hope people will start respecting such friendships and not play as matchmakers or fortune tellers.

Then people wonder why there are so many guys who become play boys or women who cheat on their boyfriends. If you want these things to stop, it better start with you. Before you tease a girl-boy best friends, be sure to carry the guilt in the end of ruining their friendship because of a 'friendly' teasing. Yeah, they might be in a next level relationship, but you can never define the future that's ahead of them. Stop playing with destiny and start respecting & knowing your boundaries.

Teasing may seem so harmless, but believe me, it caused so much broken friendships.

PS

A lot of people are teasing me and my best friend; but thank God that we gave our friendship to God's loving hands; and He has guarded our hearts in different ways, and by God's grace, step-by-step we're learning a lot on what real friendship is all about. :)

More Than This

I want something, something more than this.

That's what I have been murmuring lately. It's as if I want to see the world, i want to travel, i want to get out of my comfort zone, i want God to reign in me. I want to reach the world i see at my window. I want to be free, I want to explore, I want to discover who God is in His Creation...

I just want something more than this. I may sound like an ungrateful little brat asking her parents for more than what she has... but then i want to be honest with God... This is what i feel. I want to fly, i want to soar to the world. I just know God is way beyond what i can think of Him. I can't consume Him in a box. I know God is everywhere, God is in every country, every place, every era. I want to see those places, those museums, those natural parks. I want to reach and see God in a different level. I don't want to consume Him inside my home and my church. I want something more. More than i could ever imagine...

It's as if the kid inside of me wants to come out.

I feel like a little kid, excited to learn and see more new things. Excited and enthusiastic about what her teacher would show her. Like a little kid that tugs the father's shirt asking for more ice cream, if possible, all the flavors of the shop.

There's a kid inside of me who wants to dance, who wants to touch things that have never been touched, to uncover secrets only few knows about... A kid inside of m, who just longs to be with His father in Heaven...

I thought what i wanted was a man to bring me to different parts of the world.

But i was wrong, i wanted God, i wanted to be with myself or tag a friend along; but not a man. I want to explore the world, to taste different kinds of food to see the glory of God in every aspect in every perspective. To travel to show the love of God, to help, to minister, to be a light, to have time with God... :)

I just know there's something more, more than this.

We went to pearl farm today and wow, it's one of the most beautiful place I've ever been to. What i wouldn't forget even more is... I was watching an episode of "boys over flowers" it was the time when the guy brought the girl and her best friend to an island where the rest houses where above the seawater, it was like floating. Then I said "I want to go there, i wonder how it feels to be there..."

And pearl farm was so similar to the place that i saw in that korean series. I was speechless, i wanted to write something but i couldn't. The place was just too beautiful. It's as if the place i watched on TV suddenly came true!... God is amazing. I watched that korean series on the same week we went to pearl farm.

I'm getting a hold of this something new.

God is so good. His voice is getting stronger and clearer. I won't forget this instances where I'd murmur a wish in my mind or a prayer, then God would answer it in a very short period of time! Like i was once waiting for my friends and a friend of mine said there are silver taxis around town already. I said i never saw one, then i uttered a simple prayer asking God to show me one that morning (there were only a few taxis at that time) and in a couple of minutes a silver taxi passed by us! not only once but twice!

God does care about the details of my life.

He does care, He even hears my silent prayers, my vague wishes... He's answering them, His love is just so amazing. He has done so many amazing things.. This entry hasn't ended. I just have to sleep now; still... pearl farm, the korean series... Wow... God is so amazing... I feel so refreshed, I see my surroundings in a new perspective... Everything is just sooo... heavenly..:)

(Art By www.malta.deviantart.com)

Let it Go

Letting go, for now...

I have been writing letters and buying stuff for my future prince. I mean hey it's okay, but then i think I am too focused on my future prince. Once in awhile it's okay to remember him, but then everyday? I think that's a huge waste of time.

Why waste time, time is a gift.

I want to meet my prince so badly; but it was revealed to me that i won't get married until i turn 27. If for all those years I would focus on my future prince, i guess i won't be such a mystery for him anymore once we meet. I might show him who I am completely on our first meet and that's not as exciting as i know it can be.

Never spoil a surprise

I don't want people to easily picture me out; especially my future prince. So today, on June 13 2009 I will stop. I will stop dreaming about my future prince, for it is distracting me in a whole lot of way. It's as if I'm in a relationship now, my focus is so  divided. I want my focus on Christ alone. Christ is not my prince but my King, i better stick that in my brain.

God is my King, my prince is another thing

I want to feel God's amazing love completely and i believe letting go of my prince now is a wise choice.

My dear Prince, good bye for now, I will see you and talk to you once we meet. Let our love story be written by God and not by me. I want to seek God deeply and I need you to disappear for that. 

You are not needed for now

So from now on, I will place you in God's hands. I don't need a man in my life right now. Not now that God would work through me powerfully...:)

PS

Guardian Angel? Please drive away men from my life who is not my prince. Thanks :D

No man can turn this heart away from God.

                              Words have power. What more if it's a declaration? <3

(Art by http://cloudywolf95.deviantart.com)

It's Time.

I'm tired, I had enough, I'm making this choice.

Everybody treating me like a kid, seeing me as the little sister of all, the cute little girl, the anime lover who acts like a kid, the nineteen year old who's usually mistaken as the fourteen or sixteen year old, the girl who is too fragile to face the truth.

Don't get me wrong, I like how people treat me and how they see me, what i don't like is the last part.

"...the girl who is too fragile to face the truth."

I've been mean, I've been a brat, I've been spoiled, I've been irresponsible; yet no one dared tell me that something is wrong with me. I asked people, forced people to tell me what's wrong with me, yet no one dared tell me that I am wrong. I'm changing, not into a better person, but an irresponsible prideful kid. I know what's wrong with me but unless i hear it from someone else it won't take effect on me. I need the truth. I need someone to tell me I am wrong. I need it, I need to hear it from somebody else. To my great joy, someone did. Someone had the courage to tell me, someone cared enough for me to let me know the truth.

"...you became free but you lost the responsibility."

That's the exact words of my friend; a very dear friend to me. The moment i read that, my eyes really opened and great joy filled my heart. Someone finally took the courage to tell me the truth. It's music to my ears and comfort to my soul. It didn't pierce that deep, for I was ready to take it in, my shield was on. Now I have to fix this shallow wound of mine. I have to think. I have to think hard and deep. Who am I really? Am I just a kid? Am i really fragile? Who, What am I?

It's time to make a stand and show them who I am.

I am not fragile. I love hearing the truth, negative or positive, i take it in as gifts. Negative ones are greatly appreciated for it shows me that I am still human, i make mistakes, I am not perfect, I am growing up, I'm maturing. Though I don't take in negative ones from random people whom I am not that close with. I am not fragile and I am not stupid as well. It's time to make choices, wise choices. Life isn't all about "This is what I like, No it's MY schedule, it's ME, it's MINE, it's I...." It's time for me to forget about myself. I think I had enough of myself. I'm tired, I'm getting bored of just wanting what is best for me. I've had enough. 

I need to discipline myself.

Not everyone would be patient enough to understand me nor to adjust to my miscommunications, faults, or schedule. It's time to let my "Yes be Yes and my No be NO." I must stand up for God. It's time to be responsible. It's time to let Jesus take over. It's not me. It's Him. I've had enough of my selfishness. I need God, I need His Word, I need the truth. 

I do believe it's time to stop acting like a child and begin acting like a woman. I'm ready. I want to take the next step. I want to be a woman for God. I want to buy my own food, my own stuff. It's time to stop depending on others. It's time to work for what i want, for what others want. It's time to give it all It's time to share God's treasures to other people. It's time to take the lead. It's time to say YES to independency and NO to dependency. 

Grow up, but keep the child-like faith.

I want to act like a woman and act like myself when I am with the people i know. It's time to shine not for my own fame but for God's fame. It's time to be the example rather than the mistake. It's time to be wise rather than be whatever-comes. It's time to be a woman, to be respected for whom God made me to be. It's time to let the child-like faith reign all over me and let the childishness diminish. I want to be used to my highest potential, but i cannot do that without letting go of my childish ways. The time is NOW.

A leader is a leader, not because he has the skills or is he strong, but because he lowered himself down to rise the weak.

It's time to take responsibility. Sometimes its better to be kind rather than to be right. Integrity is not gained overnight but rather created one step at a time. Life isn't all about survival, it's about loving others and living for the people you love the most. Passion is the key to unlock dreams, but wisdom is needed to open the right door. Creativity is better than knowledge but creativity without wisdom is nothing but knowledge. Love isn't just a butterfly, it's also a caterpillar that takes time to work on the beauty it has deep inside. Music is food for the soul, but it is also the language that could be understood by everyone, even the uneducated. The tongue is a small thing but what enormous damage it can do. We have two ears and one mouth, Listen before you speak. A flower blooms in great beauty during the day, but what great beauty it could show when it rains; Sometimes the greatest experiences in life, happens when troubles come our way. 

We have two hands to work hand in hand, let it be the same with marriage.

Speaking of marriage; I am not ready to be in a relationship. I am not ready to care for someone deeply. I am not worthy enough. I want to be the best woman i could be for my future prince. I want to be the one who would complete him, nit the one who would ruin him. I need to learn how to trust first, i need to learn to take responsibility first. I want to be the best supporter for my future prince, not the perfect nagger. I want to be a queen to my king; I want to serve my future one with no complaints. I want to be a woman after God's own heart, that i may know how to serve my husband the way i was created in the first place...:)

                                                                                                                 

(Picture by http://r3novatio.deviantart.com )