It's Time.

I'm tired, I had enough, I'm making this choice.

Everybody treating me like a kid, seeing me as the little sister of all, the cute little girl, the anime lover who acts like a kid, the nineteen year old who's usually mistaken as the fourteen or sixteen year old, the girl who is too fragile to face the truth.

Don't get me wrong, I like how people treat me and how they see me, what i don't like is the last part.

"...the girl who is too fragile to face the truth."

I've been mean, I've been a brat, I've been spoiled, I've been irresponsible; yet no one dared tell me that something is wrong with me. I asked people, forced people to tell me what's wrong with me, yet no one dared tell me that I am wrong. I'm changing, not into a better person, but an irresponsible prideful kid. I know what's wrong with me but unless i hear it from someone else it won't take effect on me. I need the truth. I need someone to tell me I am wrong. I need it, I need to hear it from somebody else. To my great joy, someone did. Someone had the courage to tell me, someone cared enough for me to let me know the truth.

"...you became free but you lost the responsibility."

That's the exact words of my friend; a very dear friend to me. The moment i read that, my eyes really opened and great joy filled my heart. Someone finally took the courage to tell me the truth. It's music to my ears and comfort to my soul. It didn't pierce that deep, for I was ready to take it in, my shield was on. Now I have to fix this shallow wound of mine. I have to think. I have to think hard and deep. Who am I really? Am I just a kid? Am i really fragile? Who, What am I?

It's time to make a stand and show them who I am.

I am not fragile. I love hearing the truth, negative or positive, i take it in as gifts. Negative ones are greatly appreciated for it shows me that I am still human, i make mistakes, I am not perfect, I am growing up, I'm maturing. Though I don't take in negative ones from random people whom I am not that close with. I am not fragile and I am not stupid as well. It's time to make choices, wise choices. Life isn't all about "This is what I like, No it's MY schedule, it's ME, it's MINE, it's I...." It's time for me to forget about myself. I think I had enough of myself. I'm tired, I'm getting bored of just wanting what is best for me. I've had enough. 

I need to discipline myself.

Not everyone would be patient enough to understand me nor to adjust to my miscommunications, faults, or schedule. It's time to let my "Yes be Yes and my No be NO." I must stand up for God. It's time to be responsible. It's time to let Jesus take over. It's not me. It's Him. I've had enough of my selfishness. I need God, I need His Word, I need the truth. 

I do believe it's time to stop acting like a child and begin acting like a woman. I'm ready. I want to take the next step. I want to be a woman for God. I want to buy my own food, my own stuff. It's time to stop depending on others. It's time to work for what i want, for what others want. It's time to give it all It's time to share God's treasures to other people. It's time to take the lead. It's time to say YES to independency and NO to dependency. 

Grow up, but keep the child-like faith.

I want to act like a woman and act like myself when I am with the people i know. It's time to shine not for my own fame but for God's fame. It's time to be the example rather than the mistake. It's time to be wise rather than be whatever-comes. It's time to be a woman, to be respected for whom God made me to be. It's time to let the child-like faith reign all over me and let the childishness diminish. I want to be used to my highest potential, but i cannot do that without letting go of my childish ways. The time is NOW.

A leader is a leader, not because he has the skills or is he strong, but because he lowered himself down to rise the weak.

It's time to take responsibility. Sometimes its better to be kind rather than to be right. Integrity is not gained overnight but rather created one step at a time. Life isn't all about survival, it's about loving others and living for the people you love the most. Passion is the key to unlock dreams, but wisdom is needed to open the right door. Creativity is better than knowledge but creativity without wisdom is nothing but knowledge. Love isn't just a butterfly, it's also a caterpillar that takes time to work on the beauty it has deep inside. Music is food for the soul, but it is also the language that could be understood by everyone, even the uneducated. The tongue is a small thing but what enormous damage it can do. We have two ears and one mouth, Listen before you speak. A flower blooms in great beauty during the day, but what great beauty it could show when it rains; Sometimes the greatest experiences in life, happens when troubles come our way. 

We have two hands to work hand in hand, let it be the same with marriage.

Speaking of marriage; I am not ready to be in a relationship. I am not ready to care for someone deeply. I am not worthy enough. I want to be the best woman i could be for my future prince. I want to be the one who would complete him, nit the one who would ruin him. I need to learn how to trust first, i need to learn to take responsibility first. I want to be the best supporter for my future prince, not the perfect nagger. I want to be a queen to my king; I want to serve my future one with no complaints. I want to be a woman after God's own heart, that i may know how to serve my husband the way i was created in the first place...:)

                                                                                                                 

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