You're In Love, Really?

"I'm in love!"

Do you really know what those words truly mean?

Crushes, Puppy Loves, Infatuation, & Attraction, I understand. . But Love? Do you really know what it means? What is the basis of your so-called-love? How sure are you that you understand what it means? Where did you see it? In movies? in commercials? in fictional storybooks? in magazines? in songs? Wake up. We live in reality. We don't live in music videos nor in movies nor in fictional books. We live, we breathe, face reality.

I've been searching on the real meaning of love.

What does it really mean to fall in love. Is it just mere feelings? Is it just the mere feeling of wanting that certain someone to be always around? Is it just all those sweet talks and mushy moments? Is it just the mere gifts, roses, dinners, teddy bears and such? Or is something deeper than that? Cause if this is just the basis of your so-called-love, I think that's what you call puppy love or infatuation. Not love.

You feel that you can't live without that certain person? You just feel that you have to live with that person as soon as possible? You feel that you have to give your everything for that special one or maybe you feel like you have to give your all right now before it's too late? You feel that no one else matters, just that one person, or maybe you feel that you can't do anything at all anymore without that person? You call that love? I'm sorry, but I see it as obsession, I see it as immaturity.

I am not saying that having all these feelings are wrong, but if these are your BASIS of your so-called-love, better think about it again. I know all of these 'cause I've felt those things, but i still end up asking myself at the end of the day, is this what you call love? Is this the real meaning of falling in love? It feels shallow. It's beautiful. But it's shallow.

What does it mean to be really in love?

Isn't love all about sacrifice and trust and loyalty and maturity? Isn't love all about giving up that special someone at the moment because you know it's not yet the right time? Isn't love all about waiting, waiting on the perfect timing to give your all, your everything, your purity? Isn't love all about smelling the roses and having that assurance that he or she would never leave you, because you're not just "one of the choices"? Isn't love all about an undivided heart? Isn't love all about sacrifice that if he or she doesn't love you, you won't hold bitterness nor would you force yourself in their hearts, because you love them? Isn't love all about being sure that he or she is the one for you and that is why you're engaging in a relationship and you're not just "trying" it out? Isn't love all about pureness, innocence, patience, truth, loyalty, right timing, pure passion, maturity, and sacrifice? Or has media, music, books stained that truth in your hearts? You call these things unrealistic? Wake up from your fairytale please.

What does it mean to be in love?

I truly can't tell yet. I really couldn't. All i know is, it's deeper than what it seems. It's not all smiles and frowns, its about tear and joys, but most of all, it's about sacrifice. Not sacrifice against your loved ones or families, but sacrifice within your own heart. Without maturity, you will never enjoy the true essence of love; you'll miss the greatest gift God could ever show you. Just because you couldn't wait, you couldn't hold back, you couldn't control, you don't listen, you don't take it seriously, you don't understand what that term "love" truly means. Understand that just because you can afford a ring, doesn't mean you can afford to be matured in love.

If you're ready to fall in love, be sure that you know what it truly means.

If you don't, you might just get yourself in a vicious cycle of jumping from one shallow relationship to another and break your heart endlessly and when that time comes when that person for you comes, you give a heart that is all tired and broken and undivided.

Feel love at its truest form, in it's truest gift by growing up and denying yourself. Say those three little words, I love you, in a deeper and meaningful way, don't lose the chance to say it in real form. Mind you, words have power. Say it right, say it true, say it at perfect timing.

(Art By www.trenchmaker.deviantart.com)

I Am Blind

I woke up today thinking about what tomorrow may bring, realizing that I cannot get a glimpse of my tomorrows road. Pondering about my future, I feel like I have no future at all. Yes I have skills, I have the drive, I have the knowledge to have a bright future, but then, who I am to say that I'd be successful in everything that I plan to do? I say I can do it. I know I can do it with what I have; but how sure am I?

I'm blind.

I can make plans, but I am blind. I cannot see my future, I don't know what it has for me. Today I'm happy, tomorrow I'm not. Today they love me, tomorrow they don't. Today they are created, tomorrow they're destroyed. We cannot hold what our tomorrow may bring, it's a risk sleeping every night, for you'll never know what tomorrow will bring.

Sounds lonely ain't it? Sounds sad, hopeless, dark and tiring. . It's because of the blindness. I plan tomorrows day, and when tomorrow comes, none of what I've planned pushes through. I feel like a failure, I feel like I have no future. Exaggerated it is, but that's where it usually ends.

Being blind in this world, will lead us to a never ending maze of confusion and disappointments.

You try to please everyone to feel that worth you seek and when disappointments attack you, you have no where to go but stay down where you are and let others stomp and trip over you. You're blind, they're blind. It's a lonely thought. Reality hits you right when you understand that yes, I am blind.

I am blind. And boy am I glad that I am. :)

Being blind is not lonely, dark, hopeless as it seems. Yes it does sound like those, but that's reality, that's how it really is, but the beauty of that, is we have a Guide. We have a Guide who blinds us for us to not see what we cannot comprehend. A Guide that holds our hands and never lets it go no matter what. A Guide who stays with us and protects us from those who stomp on us once we fall down. A Guide who chose to watch what's ahead of us despite the pain and the evil it presents just to bring us in our destination, our future in it's full potential. Being blind about our future is not a danger or a problem, rather it is an opportunity to trust our Guide and let Him protect us from all that is not for us.

No body said it was an easy road to walk in blindness, it takes a whole bucket of trust, hope and faith. Walking in blindness, holding onto The Guide, brings us to our destination with a contentment in our heart that says, "I've done it. . I've hold on to my Guide till the end, now, I can see the future He has made just for me."

You think being blind is a problem? Think again.

If The Guide allowed you to walk on this earth with the vision you desire to have, who are you to say that you'd grasp to live what you see? The Guide does everything for you, He protects you, He shields you, He fights for you, He leads you. All you've got to do is to hold onto Him; to wake up every morning thanking Him and allowing Him to guide you in every step you make today towards tomorrows future. :)

"I can see, and that is why I can be happy, in what you call the dark, but which to me is golden. I can see a God-made world, not a manmade world." Helen Keller

http://www.changingthepresent.org/blindness_and_vision/quotes

For the mean time, listen to the song entitled "Someone Worth Dying For".

(Art By www.natunasa.deviantart.com)

When You Love Him

We live in a society where the bad is the new good.

Everywhere temptation is following you and embracing you with its sweet lies. Yes, temptation can be fought, but with this amount of temptation? It's tough to survive with only your mind. Oh by the way, your thoughts can also be a threat.

When I stepped out of the teen life, i was seriously afraid of the next stage of life. I wonder most of the time, "How can I survive the filth this world is giving?" Every temptation is everywhere, gluttony, sloth, pride. envy, anger and the biggest one of all, lust. How in the world am I to keep my heart pure if its everywhere?? You see it on TV, on the billboards, on the advertisements, toys, food, etc. it's everywhere I tell you, and the sad thing about it is, most people don't even recognize it and they are engulfed right into it.

So many young women I've seen who are pregnant and studying at the same time. They see those marriage surprises as toys and games. The gifts of marriage is losing it's importance and essence, it brings deep sorrow in my heart; they were supposed to enjoy their teen life as women, and now, they end up taking care of a child alone with the pressure of college. It's sad. And I'm not here to talk about that.

My point is, as the Bible says, the world is becoming more evil. You try to stop evil by your own will and your own intelligence or gut feeling, next thing you know you're ensnared in the evil's trap. You tried, you failed, it seems like hope has abandoned you. You have the heart to stop it, you really do, you want to pursue goodness and purity, but when you face your temptation, it's as if you lost all the wisdom and the will that you've got. So how exactly do we stop this? How exactly can we get out of this vicious cycle we're in? How?

The answer is. You can't. We can't. In our own will and intelligence and passion? No. We can't stop it. It's too huge. The world is too dark for it's own good for us to erase it. We're drowning in the sea of evil and we cannot save ourselves. So... when we can't save ourselves. . what happens? Yes. . Someone else saves us. :)

There is hope.

Love your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. Am I sounding too religious? I'm sorry but you're wrong. I'm saying this because of my love for my God. It's not about the religion, it's about the relationship. What better way to stop something vicious, with stopping it for someone you love? Humans will always be humans. You stop something for another human being, next thing you know, you're both in the vicious cycle! But with God. . God is perfect. You stop something vicious for Him, He will help you and He will never fail you. :)

I've been in a vicious cycle myself. Just like you, i hide it. But you know, even when I'm hiding it in my heart? God sees my heart when no other human being can. I tried to stop this vicious cycle i was in because of fear. I was scared of discrimination, of rejection, of disapproval, or mistrust, of judgement. I was scared. I even feared that God would abandon me. . . But i was wrong. . He never left me. Yeah cheesy, but I'm dead serious. He never left me.

I don't know how to stop my vicious cycle anymore. Until to the point that i wanted to give up on myself. But God didn't.

I prayed to Him every single day. Asking for His forgiveness. Honestly, i felt like He doesn't hear me; but i never stopped praying. My vicious cycle kept going, even when i was praying; Until yesterday. . .I was pondering about what can be done, because Im tired of this, then suddenly, it just sprung up in my head. "Shiriel, you love God don't you?" that changed a lot in my heart.

Yes I love God. I really really do, and so does He. . He loved me first and His love is unconditional. I've been in love with a human being, and i know how it feels to do everything that you can to make that person you love happy. I know how it feels when you hurt him, i know how it feels when you stop the things that you do that hurt him because you love him. That's it, that's the answer.

For me to get out of this vicious cycle I am in and you are in? Is to love God. . to be in love with Him. God is a Holy God. No one can stand in His presence when you have sin in your heart, and that is why there is Jesus, there is forgiveness and that is how we can stand in His presence. So the next time that vicious cycle starts again? Think about God, ask yourself, "Will this make Him happy or not? I know forgiveness is there. . but because I love Him, I don't want to hurt Him."

Be in love with God and you'll definitely survive the evil and filth of this world. Add to that, you'll be one of those little lights that would show hope. <3

When People Care

When people care, you just can't help but be inspired.

It touches the inner core of your heart; especially when it's least expected? Yeah, it touches the heart like no other. :)

A simple message, or a simple "how are you, I'm here for you," does a lot of wonders. I actually forgot about the power of these words, "How are you?" or "Are you okay?" and "I'm here for you." Those are such simple basic words, but when said at the lowest, loneliest or discouraged point of a person, it creates such a wonderful impact in their hearts and lives. Sometimes even in their whole future.

Two people reminded me of my vision and my aim in my works. They simply asked how I was in a very low point of my artistic life and boy, did they touch something really deep. It's like the shiny vision of mine that sunk in the mud of discouragements and failures were dug out with their simple words and act of care. They did nothing but send me an e-mail and my writing went back as well as my vibe to stand up and enjoy art.

There are so many miracles in this life and one of them is encouraging a certain individual in the most perfect time.

It's as if God whispered in their ears how one person is so down, and they responded immediately despite their busy schedule. :)

So, if somebody pops up in your head, you know, someone you don't think of daily, they maybe an old friend, an acquaintance, your boss, your mother or father, or anyone, why not drop them a call of even an e-mail. A simple "How are you?" can do wonders. Believe me, it's true. The fact that I am writing again is a sure clear proof that it works in the most amazing ways. :)

OH! and also, you can add some encouragement, like how you remember what good they've done to you! Believe me, it might gather up some joyful tears. :) Knowing that you've done good to somebody at your lowest point, can create a full degree turn in their hearts and perspective. :)

The power of encouragement. Live it. Grab it. Share it. You'll touch lives like no other in a simple but grandeur way. <3

The Red Rose

A rose that made a commotion.

It was my birthday and my best friend, a male, decided to give me a red rose on my special day. :) It made me really happy deep inside, because I know that flowers have a special connection to a lady's being.

Hanging out with my best friend on my birthday was a fun thing to do, just relaxing, chilling out. :) As we entered the mall, i saw a number of my friends because of an on going event. I was with my best friend and i was holding a red rose in my hand. As soon as everyone saw me, they looked directly to the rose and then to my best friend.

A girl, a boy & a rose.

"SHI SHI HAS A BOY FRIEND!" that's the thing that came out of their mouths. One said it, the other heard it and everyone started teasing me and my best friend. I tried to make them understand that he's not my boyfriend but rather my best friend. Of course nobody believed me. The red rose was a sure evidence for them.

It made me think a lot when left. How a single rose could create such a huge commotion and how people could be so close minded. I don't understand why people would give so much meaning to a kindness a person could show. I mean, i would understand them if i had a rose in my hand in a random day, but come on, it was my birthday! My best friend was being a best friend. He gave me what would make me happy and not what would make me fall in love with him. The bottom line here is, my best friend gave me a gift, a red rose. Is a red rose labeled to be for lovers only? Wasn't roses made by God, to be given to every single one of us? Just because I don't have a boy friend or a suitor, does it mean i can't have a red rose?

Roses are made by God, to bring warmth in people's heart. Be it red, white, blue or pink.

My best friend actually wanted to give me a white rose, because he knows how much I want one and giving it on my birthday will make it special :). But apparently, white roses was unavailable. So he gave me a red one instead. Some people just can't understand what pure intentions mean anymore. But boy am i glad that i have a sweet best friend who has great fear in God.

Just because I am with a man, doesn't mean something is going on between us. That's the culture's sickness, couple pairing. There are so many boy-girl friendships that are broken, just because other people interfere by arousing unnecessary feelings because of their mere "friendly" teasing. They'll say "Hey if they're not really in love with each other, teasing them won't affect them!" OH COME ON! human beings WILL ALWAYS be human beings! They'll ALWAYS have feelings and emotions.

Peer pressure will ALWAYS be peer pressure.

Hey i don't have anything against teasing; but i think everyone should know it's boundaries. If a girl and boy says that nothing is between them, teasing must stop, or they'll mess up their friendship. If there is courtship going in between them, then go on.

Boy-girl friendships that stays strong despite the teasing are rare to find. If ever they be find, they're emotionally strong. Sad to say not everyone is like that. I just hope people will start respecting such friendships and not play as matchmakers or fortune tellers.

Then people wonder why there are so many guys who become play boys or women who cheat on their boyfriends. If you want these things to stop, it better start with you. Before you tease a girl-boy best friends, be sure to carry the guilt in the end of ruining their friendship because of a 'friendly' teasing. Yeah, they might be in a next level relationship, but you can never define the future that's ahead of them. Stop playing with destiny and start respecting & knowing your boundaries.

Teasing may seem so harmless, but believe me, it caused so much broken friendships.

PS

A lot of people are teasing me and my best friend; but thank God that we gave our friendship to God's loving hands; and He has guarded our hearts in different ways, and by God's grace, step-by-step we're learning a lot on what real friendship is all about. :)

How are you?

‎I haven't been going to church for a while because of a personal problem. When i came back, I expected you to say "Hey, what happened, are you okay? I haven't seen you for awhile", but rather you said, "Hey, you haven't been going to church, go back okay?"

Imagine going to church with a heavy heart, wanting to hear empathy from people you thought who are close with God, who are sensitive to His voice, who are spiritually matured to comfort and give spiritual advice and all of a sudden all you get is a “Go back to church okay?”

How insensitive.

You want to run to God but you don’t exactly know how to. So you go to church to receive wisdom or a prayer at least; but no. What you got was a slap on the face. “Go back to church okay?” It’s as if saying “Hey I want you to stay in church, but right now I really don’t have time to listen to you, whatever you’re facing let the church help you, go to the pastors, that’s their job. My job is to make you stay here.”

So is church all just about the numbers of people who go in? Yes it’s true that people go to church to receive wisdom from the message of the pastor, but there are people who need something more than that. They need encouragement, they need someone to care, and they need a lending ear. What is the essence of church now a day? Is it just plain about the pulpit and the performances and the flow of the program? Then when church is over, Christianity is over as well??

Yes it is the pastor’s duty to help those who are in need spiritually; but the pastors can’t do it alone! You are a member of that church because you are there to support the pastors! What is so hard about asking someone “How are you?” what is so hard about listening to someone’s burdens for a couple of minutes and pray for them? Every single person in this world holds a burden; what is so hard about caring for them for a few minutes? A single “How are you” could actually enlighten them. Just to know that someone cares is good enough. What is more fulfilling than making someone happy or at peace?

And oh by the way, the last sentence on the first paragraph? I was the one who said that.

Shattered Dreams

I was there, just a step away from my dream and capish! My dreams were scattered into pieces.

Have you ever been in my situation? You know you where about to reach your dream! You were THIS close and yet it all went down. Getting fired from your job when you expected a promotion, getting disqualified for the art entry you passed just because the dimensions were wrong, or going to your art dream school outside the country as a scholar, but your visa was denied. Yeah i can relate, mine was the last one. I was THIS close to going to my art dream school, but my visa hindered me so.

I could blame everyone, i could blame that man who interviewed me, blame my country for being a 3rd world country, blame my mentors for not advising me about my visa, blame the authorities for crushing a youth's dream, blame myself for being not good enough, or i can even blame God for not being with me.

Thing is… what can blaming or complaining do? what? WHAT?

And also… God WAS with me… Now the bigger question is, why did He let my dream be shattered? It's been nine months and I am still recovering, trying to stand up but i can't seem to, coz maybe, just maybe, I'm missing the point.

I've been trying to stand up… That's the problem. I've been doing it alone. Being crushed, do you think i could really stand up alone? No way! NO WAY!… I could never do it alone. Think about it, you trip and hurt your leg so badly, you think you could stand up alone? NO. You need someone to support you… You need that 'push' wether be it a helping hand or an inspirational word. I just can't do it alone…

Until now i don't understand why God let this happen… But one thing is for sure if this is not from Him - He is bigger than my circumstances, He is bigger than my dreams and when He closes a door, He opens a gate. I will continue to trust in Him. BUT if this is FROM Him… Then i really better think twice and look deeper. He wouldn't let something like this happen if it wasn't for my own good…

Wait…

I think that's the point. The reason why i couldn't stand up again is that, I feel like God hates me for my imperfection… When the truth is, He loves me so much to the point that He wouldn't let me reach my dream unprepared. I mean who would let a warrior go out in the field without his shield and sword?

It takes time to polish a beautiful diamond. I guess my dream is as precious to God as it is for me, all i have to do now is trust in Him… All this time, when i thought He left me, when i thought that He didn't care, when i thought i wasn't good enough… He was actually trusting me. He knows that i could get thru this even if i don't. He knows that i will stand up even when i have given up. He knows me more than i know myself. I don't deserve this, but He gave it to me.

All i could do right now is thank Him.

Why blame everyone and complain about everything? When it's much more fulfilling and heartwarming to thank God despite everything? :) Trust His Heart… He knows what He's doing. :) And maybe... just maybe... He has a different, bigger dream for me. : )

(Art By www.orangebutt.deviantart.com)